03 Jul I’ve been diagnosed with bipolar II. Now what?
What I wish someone told me.
1. It’s going to be okay.
a. Lots of people with bipolar live thriving lives. I am one of those.
2. It’s not your fault.
a. Do some research.
b. It’s a brain chemical issue. Like epilepsy. Would you judge an epileptic? No. Now don’t judge yourself.
3. You can’t fix this.
a. It’s a disease. It’s something you may deal with for your whole life. And just like freckles are often damaging sun spots, it can become part of your beauty.
4. You can’t manage it by yourself.
a. You need a team. Therapist, PCP, Prescribing Psychologist, friends or family, safe places.
b. You may lose some friends because of their fears. That’s okay. Better ones will come along.
5. You are worth understanding. You are worth the time and effort it takes to process feelings.
a. Tell your support team and friends when you feel something come up that you need a few minutes to let yourself process things that come up. They will be more patient than you expect. Being honest about what is happening for you will save your friendships and build intimacy.
b. Get comfortable with cancelling plans, taking time to be alone or be with your support team. Your health and wellbeing are more important than obligations.
c. It may seem like an inconvenience to sit with your feelings or thoughts, but if you don’t, you will make things worse. Consider it part of your medicine. You are worth the effort.
6. You need stability more than others. Create it.
a. You can’t live like other people. Because the inner world is volatile, the more stable your outer world is the easier it is to live. Find a stable home, job, foods, friends.
b. You probably have a sensitive brain chemistry so be careful with anything that destabilizes you (caffeine, sugar, alcohol, drugs, intense movies, etc.).
c. Getting your inner world stable will take more effort than others, but it’s worth it.
i. If you become a master at getting your inner world stable, you will have achieved something all humans look for: inner peace. You will have the keys to humanity’s deepest dream house.
ii. I’ve found the quickest way to inner peace in the formula below. Find out if it works for you. If not, try your own experiments. What will work for you?
7. Feeling good is not an indicator of being “fixed.” You need to maintain a healthy plan.
a. Like healthy food. Can’t get to a healthy weight and then stop eating healthy. You have to maintain. Sustain.
b. Keep taking your medicine.
c. Keep doing the stable things.
d. Keep taking care of yourself.
8. You need an emergency plan.
a. Tell your team about it.
b. Place extra medicine in every car, purse, location you go to.
c. When you go on trips, have an emergency contact that knows what to do if you have an episode.
9. You have a special ability. Learn to enjoy it.
a. You know how to feel. Many people don’t. Now this can be dangerous thing, and causes an extra burden (constantly balancing feeling with basic survival activities), but this is something unique. Write, draw, dance, express how it is to feel, what it is to experience the ups and downs of life.
b. You have a closer connection to the unconscious. What is unconscious to others may be apparent to you. List out or say out loud the crazy, nonsensical thoughts. By making them known, you have the ability see them, love them, and then if and when they’re ready, adjust them. Then you can write back or speak with response to those thoughts as a compassionate wise voice.
c. You know the wide range of human experiences. You know how to fly and you know how to wallow. Become the master of savoring all of it. Become the master of having no fear of any of it.
10. You are strong.
a. Remember that you’ve made it this far. If you have made it this far without a diagnosis, you can continue with additional support.
b. You have the infinite intelligence of the universe within each of your cells. The same creative life force within you led to the biodiversity of this magnificent planet. Know that evolution is at work in you. What diversity is humanity bringing with your uniqueness? Think about how your thriving survival benefits humanity.
11. You can dance with your demons.
a. They don’t have to stop you. Be curious about them. What are they saying?
b. How will you respond to them back? Can you laugh at their thoughts?
12. When you are stable, help others.
a. Only when you are stable are you able to help others. You cannot help others when you cannot help yourself. If you are not stable, don’t try to help others.
b. But when you can express and capture how it is to feel, how it is to find stability, peace, how to dance with your demons, how to pivot your thoughts, how to do whatever it is you get good at because of bipolar, share that with the world.
13. My steps to stability are these. Maybe they’ll work for you.
Body – List out all five senses. What is your body experiencing? What does your body need? Shake, take a run, dig your toes into the dirt.
Mind – Write, say anything. Everything is permissible. What is the worst that could happen? What is the best that could happen?
Soul – Let it all come out, cry, scream, FEEL. Breathe into the sensations. Is there any possibility of falling in love, savoring, your current experience?
Breathe – Into your spine, out of your spine, into your spine, out of your spine. Breathe until the sensation of breathing is all that you feel.